Savoring the days, calming the nights
Preparing for this new baby to arrive has been a bit strange. Although we have a list a mile long of projects that we are trying to complete before he arrives (because we know how time will just freeze for a half a year or so), I find it funny to look at the list and hardly any of it relates to having a baby! They mostly involve a lot of trips to Home Depot and late night home reorganization parties.
A few nights ago Nate asked me if I had my hospital bag packed yet and I just laughed. Honestly the thought had not even crossed my mind. I have a hard enough time just remembering to get the diaper bag packed every morning. I have become pretty comfortable living in 'survival mode'.
Yet at the same time, I am really enjoying myself. I remember feeling this way when Lucas' arrival was imminent. I just relished the special time I had with Natalie, knowing that I'd have to divide my attention in half all too soon. I don't want to look back and feel like I missed those little moments with my kids because I was stressing about fixing the caulking in the bathroom.
So - I feel that way now again. I am just trying to live in the present as much as I can because, honestly, it's all I've really got.
But here and there, things are getting a little more organized, because a sane, happy mom will mean a saner, happier family, right? :)
One of the changes we've felt inspired to make recently - not without a lot of trepidation on my part - is moving our family devotional time (song, prayer, scriptures) from the evening to the morning (I am NOT a morning person). But, despite all my fears, it has been the single best decision we've made all year. I cannot begin to describe the contrast in the spirit in the home except to say that everywhere there was contention there is now peace. Ahhh.
In the old system, bedtime involved cleaning up Natalie's room, which almost always involved a ton of bickering, delaying tactics, and by the time we were ready for prayer, etc. the spirit was long gone, everyone was exhausted and rambunctious and grumpy.
So Nate and I started praying for help about how to change things....and the ideas just came. Part 1 was changing clean-up time from right before bed to right after quiet-time (which is when the mess was mostly made). If Natalie cleaned up AND stayed in her room for all of quiet time, she could earn a short movie. This worked really well. Now, after 2 weeks, she cleans up and half the time doesn't even request the movie because there's other more interesting things to do.
But even with that success, doing scripture study at bedtime was still not working. I dreaded what I knew needed to happen. I am at that point in pregnancy - T minus 4 weeks or so - when I am constantly exhausted, don't sleep well at night at all, and am not expecting to be able to for at least another year. Could I really get up early enough to make this happen? After praying about it for a few days I decided I needed to give it a shot. I felt that if I did my part that the Lord would pitch in to help, and if we tried and failed...well, at least we tried.
So starting last Saturday, we gave it a shot. And wow, did we ever get help. Here are some of the benefits we're seeing after only one week with our new 'system':
So...why in the world did we wait so long to make this change???!!!
A few weeks ago we had a family home evening about obedience (in effort to quell the battles) and acted out the story from the Book of Mormon where Nephi and his brothers have to get the brass plates from Laban so they could teach their people God's words. They were unsuccessful several times, but Nephi didn't ever give up. http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_ne/3
It was fun to see the kids really get into it, and act it out in different ways all week long. Natalie took it a step further and has been building and re-building a boat in our back yard (out of cardboard boxes) all week long so we could sail to the promised land. Lucas likes to climb aboard with his hammer so he can fix things. He's also really good at capsizing the boat.
Anyway - getting into the scriptures this way has really opened my eyes. If I am asking my children to do hard things like developing habits of cleaning up, reading scriptures, praying and obeying parents the first time, why can I not do hard things like sacrificing to get up earlier for family time? It has been a humbling week.
A few nights ago Nate asked me if I had my hospital bag packed yet and I just laughed. Honestly the thought had not even crossed my mind. I have a hard enough time just remembering to get the diaper bag packed every morning. I have become pretty comfortable living in 'survival mode'.
Yet at the same time, I am really enjoying myself. I remember feeling this way when Lucas' arrival was imminent. I just relished the special time I had with Natalie, knowing that I'd have to divide my attention in half all too soon. I don't want to look back and feel like I missed those little moments with my kids because I was stressing about fixing the caulking in the bathroom.
So - I feel that way now again. I am just trying to live in the present as much as I can because, honestly, it's all I've really got.
But here and there, things are getting a little more organized, because a sane, happy mom will mean a saner, happier family, right? :)
One of the changes we've felt inspired to make recently - not without a lot of trepidation on my part - is moving our family devotional time (song, prayer, scriptures) from the evening to the morning (I am NOT a morning person). But, despite all my fears, it has been the single best decision we've made all year. I cannot begin to describe the contrast in the spirit in the home except to say that everywhere there was contention there is now peace. Ahhh.
In the old system, bedtime involved cleaning up Natalie's room, which almost always involved a ton of bickering, delaying tactics, and by the time we were ready for prayer, etc. the spirit was long gone, everyone was exhausted and rambunctious and grumpy.
So Nate and I started praying for help about how to change things....and the ideas just came. Part 1 was changing clean-up time from right before bed to right after quiet-time (which is when the mess was mostly made). If Natalie cleaned up AND stayed in her room for all of quiet time, she could earn a short movie. This worked really well. Now, after 2 weeks, she cleans up and half the time doesn't even request the movie because there's other more interesting things to do.
But even with that success, doing scripture study at bedtime was still not working. I dreaded what I knew needed to happen. I am at that point in pregnancy - T minus 4 weeks or so - when I am constantly exhausted, don't sleep well at night at all, and am not expecting to be able to for at least another year. Could I really get up early enough to make this happen? After praying about it for a few days I decided I needed to give it a shot. I felt that if I did my part that the Lord would pitch in to help, and if we tried and failed...well, at least we tried.
So starting last Saturday, we gave it a shot. And wow, did we ever get help. Here are some of the benefits we're seeing after only one week with our new 'system':
- We have almost complete compliance from Natalie. She now cleans her room *by herself* after quiet time, and gets ready for bed all by herself without prodding. Incredible!
- We have more reverence during prayer, even from our 2 year old.
- Natalie's reading is really improving - much better concentration when not exhausted.
- We all eat breakfast together again at the same time!
- We have more meaningful discussion about what we're reading in the scriptures, since we can discuss while we eat breakfast.
- The kids get to bed consistently earlier and happier.
- I don't get any less sleep!!! Honestly, if anything I am getting more. Maybe I'm sleeping better or maybe I am more consciously getting to bed earlier. But I am more well-rested.
So...why in the world did we wait so long to make this change???!!!
A few weeks ago we had a family home evening about obedience (in effort to quell the battles) and acted out the story from the Book of Mormon where Nephi and his brothers have to get the brass plates from Laban so they could teach their people God's words. They were unsuccessful several times, but Nephi didn't ever give up. http://scriptures.lds.org/en/1_ne/3
It was fun to see the kids really get into it, and act it out in different ways all week long. Natalie took it a step further and has been building and re-building a boat in our back yard (out of cardboard boxes) all week long so we could sail to the promised land. Lucas likes to climb aboard with his hammer so he can fix things. He's also really good at capsizing the boat.
Anyway - getting into the scriptures this way has really opened my eyes. If I am asking my children to do hard things like developing habits of cleaning up, reading scriptures, praying and obeying parents the first time, why can I not do hard things like sacrificing to get up earlier for family time? It has been a humbling week.
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